Our pain is our power - An original poem by Summar on living with endometriosis

 Our pain is our power - Summar Bourada

If it is not something you can see, touch, or hear
Why do I feel it so deeply?

I curl my legs tightly to my chest
Hoping if i squeeze hard enough
I’ll absorb the suffering
But another pulse sends my mind to a distant world
One where it isn’t a burden to have the gifts of womanhood
One where MY voice is as equal as yours
A place I am not awoken in a puddle of my pain 

I am a child again.
I don’t know what the future holds.

The years of trying to be heard
The sound leaves my body but yet I am inaudible
The decade of waiting for answers.
Only to be told it is my fault
It is my body.
I am a woman.

They tell me to relinquish that power. 
Give up my plans for motherhood.
The choice I am given
My right to choose
becomes a nightmare. 

I grasp for answers.
I fight to stay conscious in a blur of agony
I remove pieces of my body desperate for relief

What did I do to deserve this torment?

But it is my choice. 
I choose myself. 

I ignore those who say it is just me. 
I share my story.
I fight for answers.
I fight for my choice - my body. 

There are others like me
They know the dystopia of our bodies
They curl their knees to their chests every night
So together we fight. 

We look to each other for answers 
We seek those like us
Those who understand what it means to be broken inside and out
Who know the toll our pain takes on our souls

When we stand together,
it isn’t so dark. 

We peel our legs from our chests
To not relinquish our power
To not surrender our choice 

If we hold each other
We can walk even on our hardest days

Our pain is our power. 

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